There is So Much to be Grateful For

I'm looking out my studio window while the sun illuminates the leaves on the trees across the road and I'm thinking that I'm grateful for my view, for being able to see, and for so many things in my life.

If any of you read one of my earlier posts about the health challenges I've been facing, this will be an update for you. I finally received my diagnosis - I have MS. I knew it in all the fibers of my being, and in a way, it was a relief to be able to put a name to this previously nameless thing. Am I scared? You bet. But I am alive. And I'm grateful for all that I have - because today I have relative health, and family, and things to look forward to. I have a little business that's growing daily, a list of customers who admire what I do, and a head full of creations that are waiting to be made. I've made connections with people through my business and am grateful that they're willing to tell others about me, like Gabby at http://inspiteofmycrazyself.blogspot.com/, whose writings I love to read.

Behind me is my bench, my torch, my sterling and rocks and all the things that make me feel alive. And I am deeply grateful.

Gratitute

I've been meaning to write in here for a few days now, and I actually intended to write my next post all about the new 14 karat gold wire I bought, and the lovely flower nose stud I made with it. Today, however, I was compelled to write about gratitude.


The last few days in my Etsy shop have been very busy. I've had a big increase in sales lately, and each time I sell something, I feel a sense of elation. I love the fact that people find the things I create worthy of purchasing, owning, and wearing. I am eternally grateful to each customer who chooses to shop in my store and equally grateful to the universe for providing me with this gift of creativity.


So today is about gratitude for me. I am grateful to be in this life and to be a part of this wonderful world!

The Woman Behind the Designs

When I first decided to start blogging, I did some research. I do a LOT of research on a lot of topics, so this was no exception. Everything indicated that you should have an idea behind the purpose of your blog before you start. What is the theme? Should it be business or personal? A combination of both? Most recommendations were that you choose one and stick with it, and that if you have a business, your blog should stick to business topics and stay away from personal ones.

I think there's some merit to that. It's unlikely you want to know if my dog is sick, or if my son didn't make the local hockey team. These are fine things to blog about if your blog is about pets or hockey, but mine is about jewellery and my business of creating it and selling it. Today, though, I thought I would let you (my whole 156 people who have read my blog) know a little more about who I am, why I do what I do, and where the creations came from.

I'm forty (gulp) almost one years old - I have two days left to be forty. I was a crafty kid who couldn't get enough of macrame (any of you remember macrame?), braiding, stringing, making pom poms, crocheting.... you get the picture. As I got older and started having children I somehow didn't find the time to pursue creation. I guess I had created two little someones and that's a pretty big thing to create.

As I approached forty years old, a year ago, in fact, I began to have some strange things happen to me physically. My arms went numb. My legs went numb. My leg would feel like someone had wrapped a tensor bandage around it too tightly and left it there. I began having sensations of pins and needles in my limbs, as well as stabbing sensations. My back became hypersensitive, so that feeling a simple drop of water running down my back was almost painful it was so annoying. Sometimes it felt like mosquitos were biting my limbs - quick, stinging pains. I went to the doctor and was referred to a neurologist.

I began to crave creation again - the urge to create became very strong. My husband brought me home some copper wire and I wrapped a bunch of beach glass my children had collected years ago. When I created, I didn't notice the pain as much. I researched online to find out more about jewellery making and found a wealth of information: how-to's, articles, opinions, ideas, and outlets to sell your goods. And I practiced - man, did I practice.

I got brave and ordered some sterling silver and then was too afraid to cut into it for about a week. One day when I was ready, I made the first cut and lost the fear. I fell in love with the process of twisting wire to make it what I saw in my mind and on the drawings on little scraps of paper that began to follow me everywhere. And when I created, I was fully present with the creation; allowing the pain to be in the background, instead of the foreground.

The neurologist did a test. The neurologist pronounced me fine before he even did the test. "Yes, sir, I am fine. I'm forty years old and I don't know what is happening to me and you have no answer, but I am fine it seems." I had to accept that there was no answer just then.

A look back in my history shows numerous 'minor' things going on for years: a feeling of being off balance, a sensation of walking 'funny' all of a sudden - was it me or the new shoes? Fatigue. Bone crushing, can't lift my head, no energy for language kind of fatigue.

I have continued the creations over this past year; growing more confident with my materials and moving into the world of fabrication. The 'phantom' mostly hid away for a bit but I was always aware of its presence. It left my back sensations and a couple other things but steered clear for a while. And then it returned and it was the same but different. I began limping - always on the right leg and many times being unaware I was doing it. Some days my hands won't work on the keyboard for any length of time. It is like there's a disconnect between brain and hands. Sometimes I'm fatigued, I trip over things even when I know they're there, and life is different than it used to be. And the other day there was a brown spot in my vision on my left eye. And I know. In my heart, I know. I see another neurologist in June.

When I am at my bench, my hands work just fine. And I am grateful - for this life, for the gift I've been given, and for this opportunity to share a little more about who I am.

You Just Never Know

Surprises are in order all around this time of year - a huge dump of snow here in my not so terribly snowy part of the world, holiday surprises, and surprises in what I feel the need to create.

I spent a whole bunch of money on some great gemstone beads recently and I truly love rocks. I love the feel of them in my hands, the coolness against my neck, and the myriad of colours and textures they come in. And yet I have found my inspiration in metal this week - copper and silver swirls, hoops, loops and spirals - different sizes and gauges - hammered and polished. As I say, you just never know what will happen - in the earth or in the creative endeavours of our lives.

As I enter this holiday season I am grateful for inspiration - the thing that always surprises me and keeps me young in spirit.

Going into creative mode!

Oh boy, does this weekend ever need to see some production time! I've been so busy getting the promotional aspects of things set up that I haven't had time (sigh) to create very much. I suppose that will always be the fine balancing act of this type of business venture. I'm the whole show - the person who creates the pieces, the one who promotes them, and the one who keeps the business records (okay, who am I kidding? LOL - you should SEE my horrible mess of paperwork waiting to be entered into a spreadsheet!).


The beautiful thing is that I can choose to leave the paperwork for another time, and I can go for a walk and get inspiration for my next piece. It's fall in my part of the world and the trees are all this lovely golden colour, interspersed with the odd tree turning red, and there are big leaves scattered on the road and the walkways - it's truly lovely. What a gift to be alive and well!